We've all been there or will go there soon---the place of grief. I was going through old seminary notes as I was doing some research and came across this piece on grief (SHARE). SHARE is an acronym to help you while going through the process of grieving.
S.H.A.R.E. Grief
S ____________________________________________.
The most important gift that we give to one another is a place to be heard. Those who express rather than suppress their thoughts and feelings tend to manage crises better. As a caregiver we need to create a place of safety through our willingness to listen. We may even need to listen to the same story or memory over and over again.
H _____________________________________________.
The Holy Spirit has a wonderful way of ministering to us in our own way. Following what feels “right” to do may be exactly what will promote healing. Write a letter. Create a card. Give blood. Go for a walk. Start a support group for others. Take a meal. Be alone (though not for long periods). Put a hand on a shoulder. Ask or give hugs – touch can be stabilizing in a de-stabilizing period.
A ___________________________________________________________________.
One important contribution to appropriate grieving is to accept that doubts, worries, fears, and anger are a part of the process. We must listen to ourselves as well as others with acceptance. This is seldom the time to correct theology or give trite advice. We shouldn’t speculate about God’s specific will or give explanations. We all feel drawn to such “remedies” when we are faced with painful circumstances.
R _____________________________________________.
Don’t stop grieving, but gradually bring back the normal routine of life. Remember to eat nutritiously, sleep regularly, and work appropriately. Don’t expect to perform at the same level at first. Grief is very distracting and disruptive for all of us.
E ______________________________________________.
In times of grief, our faith can be a tremendous anchor. All of the previous steps are about getting in touch with others and experiencing God’s touch through the members of our community. We cannot forget to yield to that natural desire in these times to talk directly to our Father. He wants to hear the good and the bad, the faithful and the doubting, the settled and the upset – He wants to hear it all.
S. P. Stratton (1999). SHARE our Grief. Chapel presentation. Asbury College, Wilmore, KY
